Queen of the Universe and All Time

We have this one weirdo customer who has been coming in once a month for the last three months. She's perhaps 60 years old, is incredibly rude, and wears a hat from the 1950s. Each visit, same hat. Each time she comes in she has the SAME EXACT ISSUE.

The first time she came in, I was the one who had the privilege of helping the Great Queen. However, the store was EXTREMELY busy, so after I answered all of her stupid questions I excused myself to help some other customers. Of course, her being the Queen of the Universe and All Time, that wasn't satisfactory to her, so she demanded another employee to basically just stand beside her as she considered whether to spend ten bucks or not. (She didn't buy anything.)

The second time she came I couldn't believe that she was asking me the SAME QUESTIONS as before. I figured she was one of those customers who think retail workers don't know anything so they keep asking different people at different stores the same question to see if we all give her the same answer. Alternately, she might be one of those customers who keeps asking the same question until she gets the answer that she wants to hear. I considered reminding her that she was in the month before with the same questions, but she didn't give me a chance to speak. Lowly slaves are to remain silent in the presence of the Queen.

After helping her the second time, I decided that she's neither of those. She can't function like a normal human being because she doesn't belong to our species. She travels to different planets and functions in a different space-time continuum than the majority of the people on Earth, thus can't remember what she did or where she went the last time on this planet in this time period. She also gets really confused about the latest fashions, thus her loud shirt. The hat, I figure, is to cover up the cerebral damage from all of the high-speed long-distance journeys that she takes.

Continued tomorrow.............