In Training

New employees. I don't mind training people if they have half a brain. But these high school kids who have to have everything spelled out for them……it's like babysitting!

Assignment: clean the shelves.

Kid: I don't know how.

Me: Well, first get your supplies, then take everything off of the shelves, then clean them, then put everything back on the shelves.

Kid: What do I need?

Me: Paper towels and cleaning spray should work nicely.

Kid: Where are they?

Me: The same place they were yesterday when you cleaned the bathroom mirrors.

{Kid goes to get supplies, gets sidetracked flirting with a coworker, takes a smoke break (yes, he's under 18), and finally gets the supplies. Half an hour later I find him wandering aimlessly about the store.}

Me: have you cleaned the shelves yet?

Kid: I don't know how. I've been looking for you.
(Like the store's that big.)

{Take the kid by the hand and lead him back to the area.}

Me: OK, these are paper towels {hold up paper towels} and this is your cleaning spray {hold up spray}. You're going to take the products off the shelves, then spray the cleaning spray on the paper towels…..

Kid interrupts: How many paper towels do I use?

Me: Use as many as you need to get the job done, but don't waste them.

Kid: So how many does that mean?

Me: Take a wild guess.

Kid: I don't know. I don't want to get in trouble.

Me: {Oh my, this kid really is something. I take some deep breaths and counts to ten.} Two should be good. When those are dirty, get two more.

Kid: How can I tell when they're dirty?

Me: Do you ever clean your house?

Kid: No, my mom does it.

Me: {Then your mom's an idiot too.} When they're gray, they're dirty. Now when the shelves are clean, put the products back on the shelves neatly and come and find me.

Kid: OK

Ten flirtations, five smoke breaks, seven bathroom trips, and two personal phone calls later:

Kid: I'm finished.

Me: Good. {Finally!} Let's see how you did.

{Walk to shelves, see paper towel roll and cleaner still there, with wadded up paper towels littering the floor.}

Me: The shelves look good, but now you need to clean up your mess.

Kid: How do I do that?

Me: Put the paper towels and cleaner back where you found them, and throw away the dirty paper towels. {I hope this kid doesn't work on my shifts any more!}

The next week:

Kid: Hey, why do I only have 10 hours this week?

Me: Hey yourself, you're in training so our employees who know what they're doing can get more done with the same number of payroll hours.

Kid: What's that mean?

Me: It means you'll get more hours when you get better at your job or someone quits and an even more clueless person is hired.