Bewilderment

Today I was getting ready for work and had a little extra time so I switched on the computer to check out the blog updates for the day.

I was late for work, for what I found on one blog took several readings.

A few years back when a family member died, it was tough, but expected because of old age. A little later another family member was killed in an accident, but it was a life well lived so it was somehow acceptable.

Today I read of an acquaintance's death by suicide. Someone young, seemingly happy, with not any more than a normal person's share of troubles. A friend of a friend of a friend, really, but still, I feel like I knew him through his blog.

There's no way to make sense of it. Someone my age. Not that unlike me. Dead. By his own hand. No sense at all. It hit me hard and I didn't even know him that well. What his family and close friends must be feeling is unfathomable.

At work I went about the normal routines while trying to process the information. A customer complaint about being out of stock.....who cares. The cashier needs change.....ok....stocking....cleaning....handling staff issues....doing paperwork....all on auto-pilot.....why did he do it? A bright future, a loud yet clear voice, unfulfilled dreams.....forever darkened, silenced, and unfulfilled. Why?