My Computer Brain

You would think with the number of retail workers in the world that there would be a good number of former retail workers in the general public. But apparently not, because most people are entirely clueless.

The customer approaches me to ask, "How much is this?" while holding up one of our perhaps 25,000 items. Well, let me look that up in my brain that has the price of EVERY SINGLE ITEM memorized. What's worse is that often I'll lead them back to the shelf where they just got the item, to see the price RIGHT THERE IN HUGE LETTERS.

When I ask, "Can I help you?" to some of the older customers, they respond, "Yes, this doesn't have a price. How much is it?" I point to the shelf (where the price is VERY VISIBLY DISPLAYED) as I tell them the price. Some of them proceed to ask me the price of lots of other items in the area. Each time, I POINT to the price as I respond, hoping they'll get the point. Nope. Never do. They don't seem to understand that most places don't price single items, they use a shelf label to save time and money.

Other customers think they're being helpful when they bring up an item that's missing the label. "The sign said that it was $9.99." Well good for the sign, but I have to have the 10-digit UPC code for our computers to keep track of what we have and what needs to be ordered. The customer gets irritated as there's a wait to get another of the same item or look up the UPC code. It's like they expect me to have each 10-digit code for each of our 25,000 items memorized. Sure. In what lifetime?! I probably have 100 of the most commonly used ones memorized, but my brain can't hold much more than that. What I don't get is that they noticed the item was missing a label when they got it off the shelf; why didn't they grab another to bring to the front with them?!

My last gripe of the day is about the customers who expect us to know EVERYTHING about EVERY product that we carry. Again, that's roughly 25,000 items. "How big an area does this treat?" Well, let's actually pick up the product and read on the FRONT of it that, {GASP} it treats 2,000 square feet. There's the answer.....right there....in front of your face......why did you waste my time with such a stupid question? The phone callers also think I have a computer for a brain. "Do you have X item in stock?" I'll have to check, can you hold? "No, I just want to know if you have it." I don't know if we have it, I will have to walk to the shelf and see if there are any on the shelf, then I'll come back and tell you if it's in stock or not. "Oh. OK." Morons. All of them.