Yuck!

I had a pretty good day, nothing out of the ordinary. Then I went grocery shopping and got an interesting phone call from work.

The manager on duty was on the phone and wanted my advice on how to take care of a problem. The cell reception was poor and I missed part of the problem. I thought she said there was a mess on the floor and how should she clean it up. You had to call me for this?! No big deal, we deal with messes all the time.

Me: "Just pick up the mess and put it in the trash!"

Her: "But I don't want to touch it!"

Me: "Use a paper towel if you don't want to touch it!"

Her: "Yuck! That's disgusting! It's the size of the phone! I can't believe this could have come out of a person. I don't know how they walked out of here after doing that."

Confused, I asked, "Uh……what was your problem again?"

I walked a couple of aisles over to a place with better reception and asked her to change to a better phone and speak up. She explained for a second time, "There's a HUGE turd in the toilet. It's the size of the phone receiver! The toilet won't flush because the handle's broken. How do I get rid of it?"

I started laughing. No wonder she didn't want to touch it!

I continued laughing, not necessarily about the situation, but at her response to it. She pretended to be put out by my inconsideration for her dilemma. She complained, "It happened on your shift! I just happened to walk in and find it!"

I continued to laugh. When I finally stopped I explained how to flush the toilet by pulling the thing inside the back.

"What if it overflows?"

"Then you turn off the water and do something else to fix it. Am I going to have to start checking the bathrooms as part of our 'changing of the guard' rituals?!"

I made fun of her for several days afterwards, asking her if she'd checked the bathrooms recently. Others joined in on the fun. We had our own little code words so customers who overheard wouldn't know what we were talking about. They looked at us with curiosity, wondering what we were laughing about. We shared the joke with our regulars, the ones we knew wouldn't be offended but would laugh along with us.