Friday, March 24, 2006

Sob Stories

The neighborhood I'm in, I hear sob stories almost every day. I have NO SYMPATHY for people who buy unnecessary stuff that they can't afford. It's called responsibility and self-control. I'm cynical and don't believe any of the people asking for money, either. Here are just a few of the stories I hear:

There are the obvious cons from walk-ins who would never buy anything:

  • the man with a gas can who needs just a few more dollars to get gas so he can walk back to his stranded wife and daughter and drive them to safety;
  • the ex-drug addict who needs money to stay in his outpatient program;
  • the woman who just escaped from her husband who beat her and she needs money to bring her 12 kids to live with her;
  • the guy who needs money for bus fare to get to his job or they'll fire him.

Then there are the "customers" who are trying to get money out of us:

  • the woman who left her wallet at home and wants us to extend credit for her *large* purchase since she has no way of getting to our store for another month;
  • the "short-change artists" who work to confuse the cashier so they get back more change than they're supposed to;
  • the shoplifter who never got a receipt for the item they need a REFUND for! NOW! Or I'll call your corporate office!

Then there are the sometimes legitimate customers who drive me crazy trying to save a buck:

  • Do you have a senior citizen discount? Why not?
  • Don't you have coupons for that?
  • If I buy 10 of these, can I get a discount?
  • It rang up $11.99. The shelf said $4.99. (That's for the SMALL size.)
  • The total is too much. How much was this? This? That? This? (Don't forget the tax.) Oh, I guess that's right.
  • I spent a lot today; can't you throw in a little something extra? (No.) Oh, come on, no one would ever know....(Are you asking me to give you free merchandise? That's illegal.) Oh, never mind.

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