Not My Problem

With one week left before starting my new job, I still arrive and leave on time, take my normal lunch break, and do my normal hard work, yet I don't want to start any involved projects or expend any extra effort. Even the routine tasks……I want to leave them in good shape so that my replacement doesn't have extra work, yet I have a strong feeling (having worked with her before) that she won't stay on top of things like I have. Why leave things in A condition if she'll keep them in C- condition?

My mindset towards problems has also changed. Things that used to annoy me and make me want to tear my hair out don't have the same effect because I know that before long I'll have a different set of things to deal with but with a more enlightened boss/company.

Customer upset because we've gone 8 consecutive weeks without a popular item, despite all manner of begging on our part to the vendor rep, corporate, and anyone else who will listen to try to get some of the item?

No longer my problem.

Vendor Rep G comes in and throws a fit about Product G not having the same amount of shelf space as the more popular Products A, B, C, D, E, F, and Q through Z and apparently because of some obscure contract language we have to give them equal space, yet that contract doesn't change the fact that we DON'T HAVE ANY space to give to them?

Not my problem.

Corporate institutes REALLY STUPID new way of doing necessary task?

Also not my problem. If they cared about their employees the way they say they do, they wouldn't even think of doing it this way. It will take about 3~4 times as long and be a ROYAL PITA this way. What were they thinking?!

Fat Girl gets progressively stinkier while also doing less and less each shift, but we can't get rid of her (Boss says) because she's cheap to pay and at least she shows up for her shifts?

Not my problem. (Unless I suffocate from the fumes in the next week. That's a possibility. But my breath-holding skills are up to a record high, so maybe I'll survive.)

New guy quits without notice and a junior manager is talking about leaving and there are NO decent applications AT ALL?

DEFINITELY not my problem!! I've been telling Boss for WEEKS that we need to hire people, primarily to get rid of Fat Girl and have some backup if someone gets sick or, what do you know, it's retail, QUITS WITHOUT NOTICE!!

Nephew's friend CANNOT tell time if his life depended on it, while discipline problems continue because he knows he's untouchable?

Not my problem.

MOST DEFINITELY NOT MY PROBLEM!!