This is how you run a company?

I continue to feel like my company is either having financial problems or is EXTREMELY POORLY RUN at the corporate level.

We find out about important things at the last minute, have limited quantities of merchandise that's on sale, have shelves that are nearly empty of some items but overflowing with others, we leave messages that don't get returned (certain departments usually return calls, certain ones rarely do, certain ones NEVER do), we get memo's from different departments telling us OPPOSITE things to do, we get essentially the SAME memo from 4+ departments, shelves are empty and finally a month later I find out that we won't be carrying that item anymore, tons of new items come in yet we don't have fixtures (ordered three months ago) to display them, other new items aren't recognized by the computer so we don't even know how much to charge for the items, ETC.

Latest bungle: HR asked for paperwork from an employee who quit SIX MONTHS AGO! Their excuse: "We didn't receive the termination paperwork." Uh huh. Sure. I PERSONALLY sent it to you.....twice......once when the employee resigned and again a month later since you lost the first one. OK, let's make it three times. Like I don't have anything else to do.

Negligence

There are so many stories that I haven't shared because it would expose my specialty area. Other stories are barely understandable because important details had to be left out. I've decided that sharing occasional stories isn't that risky as long as I don't use search engine-friendly words. To avoid the search engines, the wording might be strange, but you should be able to get the point.

In my line of work I deal with non-human beings frequently. Today one of these non-human beings was injured and needed medical attention. We took him to the appropriate professional (starts with a "v") to be attended to. A few hours laters the professional (I use that term loosely) called to say that he had died "before he had a chance to look at him." The professional LEFT HIM TO DIE WITHOUT EVEN LOOKING AT HIM.

Gross negligence. A needless death. See if we recommend you to our customers, EVER again! It's your fault that he died. We expressed the urgency of his condition and yet you WAITED to even look at him?! You even charged a fee to dispose of his body!!

It's not worth it trying to get reimbursed for the money we lost because of the death, but we will be negotiating a contract with a new professional IMMEDIATELY.

Shrinking payroll dollars

Amazing what the office expects us to do with a smaller and smaller payroll budget.

One problem is that minimum wage has risen far higher than it should have. What's wrong with a high school student making $5.15 an hour? Or someone with limited skills, or someone we're training.....for a while there I was blowing my payroll on incompetent dolts. Now everyone knows what they're doing, more or less. Pay should be based on skills, not on the cost of living.

So what does corporate expect us to do? Let's see......the most important thing is to provide a level of service that you might expect at Tiffany's or other exclusive stores. Problem is, we're not all that exclusive. We are, yet we're not. We get people from all walks of life. Some spend a few dollars while some spend a thousand dollars. Some people want help while others want to be left alone. We're to provide one-on-one attention to all.

Some customers are lonely and pretend to need help so they can chat a while. The majority of our less-affluent customers have a limited intellect such that it takes two or three times longer to explain things to them than to a normal person. There are more returns from them, many due to using the product wrong or deciding that they spent too much. Shoplifting has gotten completely out of control.

People come in seeking advice and after we've spent considerable time with them they go somewhere like Wal-mart to buy. THEN they come back to us and expect us to trouble-shoot why their item isn't working as advertised. "Because you bought the cheapest model out there" doesn't satisfy them. They come to us for replacement parts and are angry because we can't tell them which part fits their generic item....different companies, different size parts....I'm not familiar with Wal-mart's inferior products. There is a reason that our products cost more--QUALITY. So my employees are also helping people who aren't even buying anything in our store, all out of my small payroll budget.

Then there are all the children using our store as a playground/zoo. The parents shop or talk with friends while the children RUN through the aisles, terrorize the staff, pull items off shelves, break things, SCREAM AT THE TOP OF THEIR LUNGS, climb up shelves, and otherwise use staff time. There's the time we spend telling the children to WALK, use their "inside voices," "find your parents, NOW!" and cleaning up the mess they leave behind.

Other things corporate expects us to do are reasonable enough, I guess, but with so few employee hours we're usually rushing around like madmen to try to get everything done. Last week was a rare quiet moment. What with all the ordering, stocking, cleaning, merchandising, pest/rodent control, paperwork.....there's a lot to do but few people to do it. Many days I feel that we can take care of the customers well or we can take care of the physical store well, but we can't do both. So we end up doing a shitty job on both and getting flak from customers and corporate.

Are there any executives reading?? We're humans, not robots! There's a limit to what we can do! Give us the necessary resources and see how much we can accomplish. Let it stand as it is and spend more money recruiting and training new employees when the current employees find higher paying jobs or less stressful ones.

I'm a klutz.

Boss is away for the week on business, my best cashier is on vacation, and I go and hurt myself at work. Fantastic timing.

The injury happened at the end of a LONG day and the last thing I felt like doing was sitting in the ER for who knows how many hours. I also hoped that perhaps it wasn't so bad and would resolve itself overnight. Nope. Got worse. So the next day I went to work in street clothes to file the necessary paperwork and get authorization to go to a walk-in clinic.

The manager on duty helped with the mounds of required paperwork. She was on the phone with the insurance company, I was filling out papers (in STREET CLOTHES, did I mention?) and MULTIPLE customers entered the employees-only area to ask for help. She finished on the phone and returned to the sales floor to assist customers, and people CONTINUED to approach me (IN STREET CLOTHES) to ask me where something was or what accessories they needed, etc. DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'M WORKING?! I actually said something like that to one lady and she asked me to find someone who was working. I CAN BARELY WALK. I AM IN PAIN. LEAVE ME ALONE.

I went for the drug test first since they have limited hours, then to the doctor. Go figure.....we have to make sure I'm not on illegal drugs before I can even get treated for an injury! Then, unfortunately, it was back to work. With Boss gone I have to work more than normal…..not going to work is not an option. Death MIGHT be an excuse, but injury is not. Can you imagine working retail on crutches……not fun.

Surprisingly, customers were a little nicer and less demanding than normal. With my limited mobility I'm relying on the junior managers a LOT. I'm delegating more than normal and trusting my employees to do the job like they know they're supposed to. So far it's working well. As far as I can tell they're not taking advantage, but I'm not giving them much chance to, either. I've asked for frequent progress reports and hobble over for a surprise inspection every now and then.

This is going to be a very long week.

Regular vs. Sale Price

A customer brought in her receipt and an advertisement from our main competitor. Her complaint? The item was supposed to be on sale but we charged her full price. I pointed out that it wasn't OUR ad, but that we do match prices. She was surprised that it wasn't our ad, even though both her receipt from our store and the ad from the competitor had the store names clearly marked. The ad didn't say what the regular price was on that item, it just said how much the discount was. I had my suspicions, but I called anyway.

After going through several menu options I finally reached a live person, asked the price of the item (pretending to be a customer, of course), and was put on hold. I waited. And waited. And waited. Finally I got the price and my suspicions were confirmed….our REGULAR price is cheaper than their SALE price.

I told the customer that and she seemed upset. She asked, "So I'm not going to get any money back?"

No, because even with the discount they charge more than we do.

"Wait. I don't understand."

Their REGULAR price is $39. With the discount, they're selling it for $35. Our REGULAR price is $32.

I could tell from her face that she still wasn't getting it, so I slowed it down and made it simple.

Their price: $35. Our price: $32. Our price is already lower so if I matched their price you would owe me money.

"Oh, I understand now."

GOOD

We're cheaper on almost everything, even the sale items. I guess the competitor needs to charge more to afford all their advertisements. We don't advertise in the newspaper very often…..we rely mostly on our regular customers returning and spreading the news about our greatness to their friends. Occasionally we'll be out of something and our regulars admit that since they need the item so badly they'll visit the competitor, but that they hate shopping there. That's what we like to hear!